I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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