I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
