epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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