; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I didn't notice because vodka
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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