I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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