I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So much Jack, so little girl.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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