Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
