oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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