Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
