Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize