Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
