she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.