Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
