No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
