watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
