Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
