They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
