i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
