I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize