We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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