in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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