Sry I called you an 8
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
