Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize