there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike