Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
