we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
