Duck Duck Cougar?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
