All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
