WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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