U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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