and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
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I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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