My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
