dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
