Say something about gay babies.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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