I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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