last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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