i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
