i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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