I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
