you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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