his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we're making bets on your personal life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
