Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
