It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize