maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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