Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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