What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
