I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Randomize
