He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize