Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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