I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
