am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize