He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
