two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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