wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
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I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
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I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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