Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You took a bar mat shot.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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