Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
