OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
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Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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